WOULD YOU EMPLOY THIS MAN?

This is my son, Simon Kitt. You may know him as Spike, Streaky or Streakz. Earlier this year he moved back to Cornwall and took up employment at Chelfham School for boys with challenging behaviour, a part of the Priory Group. He was thoroughly enjoying the work and had received no complaints about his performance. Two weeks before the end of his six-month induction period he was sacked, the given reason being that one of his references had failed to materialise. No other substantial reason was given, he had had no supervision for 2 months, no warning letters and indeed received no written explanation for the termination of his employment. His line manager was baffled, as were all his colleagues.

Because his employment was terminated before the end of the probationary period he could see no option but to move on and started looking for another job. He applied for a job with Sunshine Care, attended a preliminary interview and was waiting for them to check his references before a formal interview could be arranged. Yesterday he received a letter from them stating that they were enable to offer him employment because Chelfham School had given him an unsatisfactory reference.

A.C.A.S. have advised him that he should not hesitate to pursue legal action, since Chelfham have acted illegally on several counts. Meanwhile, there seems to be a problem with his references, which is crazy since he had a ten-year unblemished employment record prior to this. We'd like to set this straight. If you know and love Spike, please write a short testimonial stating what you know of his character and skills and email it to me at kryskitt@googlemail.com

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QDB: Latest 50 Quotes

#870063 +(4358)- [X]

<djahandarie> we ain't here to do e-c-e

<djahandarie> we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b

<djahandarie> listen to me spit these rhymes

<djahandarie> while i program lines

<djahandarie> and commit web accessibility crimes

<djahandarie> word, son

<http402> You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,

<http402> But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.

<http402> I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans,

<http402> While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands.

<http402> Cut the crap rap,

<http402> Or I'll run ettercap,

<http402> Grab your AIM chat,

<http402> N' send a PC bitch-slap!

<http402> peace

<djahandarie> you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans

<djahandarie> while i got other plans

<djahandarie> you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right

<djahandarie> you just create a plight with your http rewrites

<djahandarie> i've been on the web since the age of three

<djahandarie> you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi

<djahandarie> respect yo' elders, bitch

<http402> You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up,

<http402> Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.

<http402> You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow!

<http402> You're knocking at the door while I run this show!

<http402> Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school,

<http402> Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,

<http402> Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,

<http402> Face it. I rule.

<djahandarie> i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)

<djahandarie> all you can do is troll on the fagnets

<djahandarie> and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup

<djahandarie> it wont be hurt by the words you throwup

<djahandarie> dont mind me while i emerge my ownage

<djahandarie> while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge

<djahandarie> you say i'm still in school

<djahandarie> but the fact is that i know the rule

<djahandarie> cuz you need to go back to grade three

<djahandarie> and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e

<http402> Time to bend over and apply a patch,

<http402> Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch.

<http402> Your connection got nuked and you've met your match.

<http402> You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.

<http402> I'd pass the torch to a real winner

<http402> But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner

<http402> Caught in a loop that you cant escape,

<http402> I run clock cycles around your words and flows,

<http402> Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows,

<http402> Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,

<http402> Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.

<djahandarie> Good god, I can't even respond to that. :P

<djahandarie> You win haha

* http402 takes a bow

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How to Be Annoying Online

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how to be annoying online 1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM"). 2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE! 3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away. 4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks." 5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons. 6. cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore (vice.president@whitehouse.gov) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet. 7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you. This article first appeared in Spy, July/August 1994. A version also appeared in The New York Times.

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Sunday like it used to be.

This blog has become much more interesting since I started adding stuff I've found via Stumble Upon. Most of it can be dragged and dropped effortlessly with Flock browser clipboard, though not all of them work. I'm still such a novice at this, but I'm getting better.

Beautiful cob and wood buildings

Images for now

My World and Welcome... Funny Pages: Handy Latin Phrases

Handy Latin Phrases Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! God, look at the time! My wife will kill me! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est. The designated hitter rule has got to go. Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. I think some people in togas are plotting against me. Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face? More Useful Latin Sona si Latine loqueris. Honk if you speak Latin. Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes If you can read this you're over-educated Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. I think some people in togas are plotting against me. Vidi Vici Veni I saw, I conquered, I came Vacca foeda Stupid cow Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi. Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog. Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin! Gramen artificiosum odi. I hate Astroturf. Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult. Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. Don't call me, I'll call you. Nullo metro compositum est. It doesn't rhyme. Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema. I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem. Fac ut gaudeam. Make my day. Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket! Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio. Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway. Re vera, potas bene. Say, you sure are drinking a lot. Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! May barbarians invade your personal space! Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant! May conspirators assassinate you in the mall! Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy! Radix lecti Couch potato Quo signo nata es? What's your sign? O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem! Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm! Mellita, domi adsum. Honey, I'm home. Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio. I am as dead as the nehru jacket. Ventis secundis, tene cursum. Go with the flow. Totum dependeat. Let it all hang out. Te precor dulcissime supplex! Pretty please with a cherry on top! Magister Mundi sum! I am the Master of the Universe! Fac me cocleario vomere! Gag me with a spoon! Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear. Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Prehende uxorem meam, sis! Take my wife, please! Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Nihil est--in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui. That's nothing--in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor. Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business. Vescere bracis meis. Eat my shorts. Sic faciunt omnes. Everyone is doing it. Fac ut vivas. Get a life. Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus! Let's all wear mood rings! Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

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Last revised: 07/11/2001 18:08:11

UP to The Funny Pages main page, or

All the way UP to The Dr Foo Home Page.

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spEak You’re bRanes » Appalling

Strange business this censorship.

First they came for Brand, but he’s an egotistical maniac so I didn’t mind.

Then they came for Ross, but he’s paid too much so I didn’t care.

Then they came for Mock The Week, but I don’t watch it so I didn’t care.

Then they came for Clarkson, but that’s on BBC2 so I didn’t care.

Then one day I turned on the TV and it was blank.

- Dave, Edinburgh, Uk, 4/11/2008 10:26

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The Daily Drivel

Well it's all happening. Got a call from the scout group treasurer saying they'd like to use the hall until they can find somewhere to put the portacabin they've been given (lucky so and sos). I wonder if there's a chance of sharing it in the future - I told her Tania Horrocks is looking into us using Fosters Field to site a cabin for the youth club. Found out the course I'm supposed to be doing is booked up, but they may be able to squeeze me in. Otherwise, no news so far. Don't know what documents Brian's got from the solicitor.

So actually nothing much to write about today, other than about the horrendous storm that's been blowing all night. Seems to have calmed down a bit, which is a relief as I've got to drive to work.

Later. Have discovered a flaw in my technique: when I highlight text to copy to Notebook it stays highlighted in the post, leaving it marred with yellow. Must see if I can do it some other way.

This is nothing to do with the Hall, except that it's probably to do with everything. Today was the day the banks all but crashed, with the government finally agreeing to bail them out with the 'taxpayers' money. In fact, since none of this money actually exists until someone draws up a loan, we have to just wait and see whose agenda will play out. The astronomically rich will doubtless be buying up entire countries before long - the ones they don't already own, that is. So what are the chances of getting hold of funding for the hall? We'll be forced assess how to achieve the maximum benefit for the community for the least money and we will need to demonstrate convincingly that whatever we plan will involve the lowest running costs and the smallest carbon footprint. Indeed the entire project can be most convincingly argued on the understanding that it will bring activities and jobs to the village so that people will be less dependent on travelling to nearby towns and the city. Initially we should apply for funding for a feasibility study, as well as assistance with short-term running costs. But I'm realistic enough to know that if refurbishment of the hall proves to be unfundable, there remains the option of selling the building (though who would want it?) and using the proceeds to build a new community centre elsewhere, such as at Fosters Field. Still, what I dream of is the hall run on combined heat and power, with a glazed south-facing roof casting light through to the ground floor.

Burble, burble ...

Plainly that didn't work again. The post remains a lurid yellow. Most unpleasant. Back to the drawing board! Perhaps I'd better just write in a word document...

The Daily Drivel

Having decided to keep a regular verbal flow going in here I'm now writing without the least idea of what I want to say. But I guess that's better than yesterday when I knew what I wanted to say but lost it!

Had intended to go to the end of season party at the Monkey Sanctuary, but the weather was so awful us girls couldn't face it so Nick went and Jude and I stayed at Catherine's watching The Wrong Door. It rained steadily all day and is still raining today. Back to default weather after a couple of dry, sunny weeks. Might just as well have been working, but I didn't feel like it and had a busy week. Now at least I've got the hang of using this blog site and have resolved to write my ideas in here regularly. It's been so long since I kept a regular journal - and to be honest, once I started working instead of actively campaigning and working on projects there was little to write home about. Though I remember a time when I regularly wrote about work as well. Just lost the inspiration to write somewhere along the way. At the very least this is improving my typing, since I'm endeavouring to touch type properly, using the correct fingering. I've never really got the hang of typing on this lap-top though it's definitely easier than my last one.

My stated aim for writing yesterday was to be clear to myself what I'm doing here in Gunnislake. The goal is Sustainable Development in Calstock Parish - ecological and financial. My main concern as we've been meeting with the goal of restoring our hall is the thought that maybe the people of the village won't use it. For a start, no doubt there are a good many people who don't know anything about it, who don't use the village facilities at all because it's difficult to park or because the facilities aren't what they need. Let's face it, the shop isn't exactly well stocked, though for emergency supplies it's ok. Pierce's, on the other hand, is good enough for most purposes. And we have a fish and chip shop there now, as well - selling really nice fish and chips. The advantage of there is the parking space and the ease of catching all the passing trade.

Anyway, the answer to this is to try and ensure that the hall supplies some of the things people have to leave the village for at the moment and to attract people from elsewhere in the parish and surrounding area. Recreation, education and entertainment are all needed, apart from the pubs. It occured to me yesterday that the W.E.A. might be interested in using it as a venue, for this would be so closely in keeping with the original (we think) bequest of the hall. If further education were at the core of our refurbishment programme, we might stand a chance of making a cafe pay its way, especially if augmented by use from visitors. Every weekend groups of hikers come in on the train from Plymouth, but there is no-where for them to enjoy a healthy snack with stunning views of the lovely valley they've come to explore.

Perhaps if I break possible usage down by key words with examples:

• Health - indoor sports, excercise classes, complementary therapies, healthy eating, Weightwatchers, martial arts


• Arts and crafts - photography, ceramics, art therapy, music, drama, films


• IT and Literacy - Transfer educational functions of Oasis to the Hall in IT suite


• Youth - GYP, homework club, over-elevens participation in classes and sports


• Commercial - farmers' market, Fair Trade shop, charity sales, community cafe, private functions

Most of the ideas I've laid out above pre-suppose a major refurbishment of the building, including the addition of an upper floor with cafe, IT suite and 'messy' craft room. For now we're assuming that the Social Club will remain in the basement and take on a lease for exclusive use. We don't know yet whether they will be able to afford such a lease, since this will depend on an independent valuation. Should that prove prohibitive, would they be prepared to share the space?

If parking is a real issue, could the community bus be brought into use as a shuttle service? Car-sharing is a sensible alternative, with pick-ups arranged according to need. I assume this is what most people do anyway for friends and family. A good notice board is probably the easiest way of solving such problems. And, not wanting to sound harsh, most people would benefit from the walk up and down the hill - if we're healthy, have good mobility and live within half a mile of the hall why bring a car at all? Say no to obesity! Get that heart pumping! On the other hand, a shuttle bus and car-sharing would make travel from other villages in the parish a possibility for those currently unable to attend evening events because of lack of transport.

Here endeth today's lesson.

The Daily Drivel

Hello what have I done wrong. Just composed 2,200 words of well-reasoned writing and I've lost the f*****g lot.

Have to do it all again with a view to producing a discussion document by Wednesday. Have to put my brain in the same place as this morning. Reminds me of the time I'd written the article for a competition while at Lifespan, when Nicki unplugged my laptop to plug in her hairdryer before I'd saved the piece. I sat right down again and re-wrote it. Didn't do the same today - just went to Jude's and drank coffee, but had a really good brainstorming there for all the things that we need to deal with at the hall now. The checklist reads:

• Heating (access to gas/electric meters and switches)


• Lighting, furniture, decor - drab and uninviting


• Safety


• Storage


• Notice boards


• Booking system


• Keys and access to bar area. Bar as storage space?


• Who will use? Questionnaire

iGoogle

iGoogle: "An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.

The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:

YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!"