WOULD YOU EMPLOY THIS MAN?

This is my son, Simon Kitt. You may know him as Spike, Streaky or Streakz. Earlier this year he moved back to Cornwall and took up employment at Chelfham School for boys with challenging behaviour, a part of the Priory Group. He was thoroughly enjoying the work and had received no complaints about his performance. Two weeks before the end of his six-month induction period he was sacked, the given reason being that one of his references had failed to materialise. No other substantial reason was given, he had had no supervision for 2 months, no warning letters and indeed received no written explanation for the termination of his employment. His line manager was baffled, as were all his colleagues.

Because his employment was terminated before the end of the probationary period he could see no option but to move on and started looking for another job. He applied for a job with Sunshine Care, attended a preliminary interview and was waiting for them to check his references before a formal interview could be arranged. Yesterday he received a letter from them stating that they were enable to offer him employment because Chelfham School had given him an unsatisfactory reference.

A.C.A.S. have advised him that he should not hesitate to pursue legal action, since Chelfham have acted illegally on several counts. Meanwhile, there seems to be a problem with his references, which is crazy since he had a ten-year unblemished employment record prior to this. We'd like to set this straight. If you know and love Spike, please write a short testimonial stating what you know of his character and skills and email it to me at kryskitt@googlemail.com

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QDB: Latest 50 Quotes

#870063 +(4358)- [X]

<djahandarie> we ain't here to do e-c-e

<djahandarie> we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b

<djahandarie> listen to me spit these rhymes

<djahandarie> while i program lines

<djahandarie> and commit web accessibility crimes

<djahandarie> word, son

<http402> You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,

<http402> But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.

<http402> I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans,

<http402> While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands.

<http402> Cut the crap rap,

<http402> Or I'll run ettercap,

<http402> Grab your AIM chat,

<http402> N' send a PC bitch-slap!

<http402> peace

<djahandarie> you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans

<djahandarie> while i got other plans

<djahandarie> you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right

<djahandarie> you just create a plight with your http rewrites

<djahandarie> i've been on the web since the age of three

<djahandarie> you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi

<djahandarie> respect yo' elders, bitch

<http402> You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up,

<http402> Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.

<http402> You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow!

<http402> You're knocking at the door while I run this show!

<http402> Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school,

<http402> Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,

<http402> Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,

<http402> Face it. I rule.

<djahandarie> i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)

<djahandarie> all you can do is troll on the fagnets

<djahandarie> and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup

<djahandarie> it wont be hurt by the words you throwup

<djahandarie> dont mind me while i emerge my ownage

<djahandarie> while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge

<djahandarie> you say i'm still in school

<djahandarie> but the fact is that i know the rule

<djahandarie> cuz you need to go back to grade three

<djahandarie> and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e

<http402> Time to bend over and apply a patch,

<http402> Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch.

<http402> Your connection got nuked and you've met your match.

<http402> You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.

<http402> I'd pass the torch to a real winner

<http402> But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner

<http402> Caught in a loop that you cant escape,

<http402> I run clock cycles around your words and flows,

<http402> Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows,

<http402> Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,

<http402> Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.

<djahandarie> Good god, I can't even respond to that. :P

<djahandarie> You win haha

* http402 takes a bow

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How to Be Annoying Online

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how to be annoying online 1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM"). 2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE! 3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away. 4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks." 5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons. 6. cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore (vice.president@whitehouse.gov) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet. 7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you. This article first appeared in Spy, July/August 1994. A version also appeared in The New York Times.

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Sunday like it used to be.

This blog has become much more interesting since I started adding stuff I've found via Stumble Upon. Most of it can be dragged and dropped effortlessly with Flock browser clipboard, though not all of them work. I'm still such a novice at this, but I'm getting better.

Beautiful cob and wood buildings

Images for now

My World and Welcome... Funny Pages: Handy Latin Phrases

Handy Latin Phrases Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! God, look at the time! My wife will kill me! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est. The designated hitter rule has got to go. Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. I think some people in togas are plotting against me. Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face? More Useful Latin Sona si Latine loqueris. Honk if you speak Latin. Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes If you can read this you're over-educated Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. I think some people in togas are plotting against me. Vidi Vici Veni I saw, I conquered, I came Vacca foeda Stupid cow Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi. Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog. Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin! Gramen artificiosum odi. I hate Astroturf. Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult. Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. Don't call me, I'll call you. Nullo metro compositum est. It doesn't rhyme. Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema. I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem. Fac ut gaudeam. Make my day. Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket! Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio. Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway. Re vera, potas bene. Say, you sure are drinking a lot. Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! May barbarians invade your personal space! Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant! May conspirators assassinate you in the mall! Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy! Radix lecti Couch potato Quo signo nata es? What's your sign? O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem! Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm! Mellita, domi adsum. Honey, I'm home. Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio. I am as dead as the nehru jacket. Ventis secundis, tene cursum. Go with the flow. Totum dependeat. Let it all hang out. Te precor dulcissime supplex! Pretty please with a cherry on top! Magister Mundi sum! I am the Master of the Universe! Fac me cocleario vomere! Gag me with a spoon! Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear. Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Prehende uxorem meam, sis! Take my wife, please! Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Nihil est--in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui. That's nothing--in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor. Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business. Vescere bracis meis. Eat my shorts. Sic faciunt omnes. Everyone is doing it. Fac ut vivas. Get a life. Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus! Let's all wear mood rings! Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

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Last revised: 07/11/2001 18:08:11

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All the way UP to The Dr Foo Home Page.

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spEak You’re bRanes » Appalling

Strange business this censorship.

First they came for Brand, but he’s an egotistical maniac so I didn’t mind.

Then they came for Ross, but he’s paid too much so I didn’t care.

Then they came for Mock The Week, but I don’t watch it so I didn’t care.

Then they came for Clarkson, but that’s on BBC2 so I didn’t care.

Then one day I turned on the TV and it was blank.

- Dave, Edinburgh, Uk, 4/11/2008 10:26

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